I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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