I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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