her vagine was all disorganized.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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