I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
