that's what penises do
they tell lies.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
