I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
