you're like a bully in the Christmas story
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
