So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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