and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
