I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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