no, he came in my armpit
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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