On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
