? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
