plz talk dirty to me
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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