I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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