i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
