If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
