"it" just moved
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
