is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
