That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
