I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
