So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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