My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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