8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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