After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
