was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
