..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
