Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
