thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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