The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
