He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Randomize
