I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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