I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
