Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Dick very happy bro
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
