Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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