Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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