Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize