oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
