apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think people are normalizing furries
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
