How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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