Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
