K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
