HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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