You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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