Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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