is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
