Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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