He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize