last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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