I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
