Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
