Porn is love you can see.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
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