on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
