plz talk dirty to me
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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