so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
