this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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