Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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