I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I will be naked everywhere
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
